I’m done.

Life changing words when uttered within a marriage.

It seems everywhere I turn marriages are falling apart – destroying families and leaving piles of rubble to be sifted through and sorted.

Mine.

Yours.

No one is immune.  No one is exempt.

From the head of prominent Christian ministries to the stranger on the street, the foundation of marriage is under attack.

I recently read an article by a sweet husband vowing numerous actions he was implementing to protect his marriage.  Beautiful vows.  Worthwhile vows.

But I’m pretty sure most of us, if married, made some pretty significant vows on our wedding day.  Probably something along the lines of:

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.”

These vows seem pretty all inclusive don’t they?

Yet do we ever truly take these words to heart and ponder their application to our lives and marriages?  Especially that God’s holy ordinance part.

I often joke with my husband we should renew our vows.  Celebrating our 25^th anniversary brought the topic up again.  He responded the way he always responds – “I meant them the first time.”

Has he kept them perfectly?  Absolutely not.

Nor have I.

As a matter of fact, we have caused one another long seasons of pain and grief – heartache and turmoil.

Isn’t that the way with two imperfect humans attempting to live together?

Two minds.

Two personalities.

Two sets of desires.

 

And the desires (not just of a sexual nature) are where we get ourselves into a lot of trouble within our marriages.  James 1: 14-15 explains the danger of desires and their consequences:

“But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. ¹⁵ Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death.”

How many of us are willing to completely make ourselves transparent to our spouses and confess our secret desires to them? The desires that we fear will cause them to love us less. Or the ones that cause us embarrassment and shame.

Yet, this transparency opens the door to freedom – because the desires shackling you in bondage are broken when you take the power away.

God gave us a companion to do life with – to be our helpmate.  We have to allow them to help us in all areas of our life.

So quit making new vows to be a better spouse.  Work on keeping the ones you already made.

And the best way to work on those vows starts on our knees – covering our spouses, ourselves and our marriages in prayer.

 

 

Consider

 

• In James 1: 12, the crown of life is mentioned. There are five crowns referenced in the New Testament. Look up the following verses and describe each crown and how it is received:
  • 1 Co. 9: 24-25
  • 2 Timothy 4:8
  • 1 Thess. 2:19
  • 1 Peter 5:4
  • Rev. 2:10

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• Read Deut. 6: 10-15
  • What is the command Moses gives the people?
  • Why is this command necessary?
  • What good gifts has God given you?
    • Have any of these gifts harmed your relationship with God?
      • If so, how?
      • If not, how do you protect yourself from it?

 

Feeling ambitious?

 

• Read Joshua 7
  • Describe in your own words the process Achlan goes through.
    • Do you relate to this process in your own life? Explain.
  • List the consequences for the rest of the community because of one person’s actions.
  • Spend some time in prayer asking God to reveal how your actions affect those around you.