by Lindsey Ehle
bar·ri·er (n)
- a fence or other obstacle that prevents movement or access
- a circumstance or obstacle that keeps people or things apart or prevents communication or progre
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Do you have any of these in your life?
What if it was in reference to God?
I do, but I once had a lot more.
I come from a very long line of addicts. A long line of addicts that have no idea they are addicts. Thanks to God, His grace and this “barrier” word He put in my head 2 years ago, I have been able to WALK THROUGH to the other side of a substance addiction.
Being a single mom is hard, lonely and stressful. Hard and lonely often bring its friend sadness. Sadness and stress led me do things that I THOUGHT would make me feel better. For me, this was drinking to excess, abusing the ADHD medicine I was prescribed or taking various other pills I was prescribed or given. All of these things became a habit for me. A habit that has taken years to overcome. A habit for someone that comes from a long line of addicts most often turns into an addiction because your body becomes chemically dependent on the substance(s). This is me.
Before my husband and I got married, my drinking had gotten pretty bad. The ADHD medicine I took caused a severe come down at the end of the day and I convinced myself drinking helped level me out. This combined with my stress level had me spiraling into a life I have chosen not to remember this specifically in years. The conviction to stop was there, but I just couldn’t make the choice to turn everything around. My life was just too stressful and my future so unknown. Holding onto the promises God had so assuredly spoken into my heart became more and more difficult with each year that went by. There were times I was so angry and hurt that I now see that God was holding me in the place where I was. When you are in midst of those times, you often can’t see or feel that He is actually holding you. This truth I am realizing even today. Reminiscing can bring so much clarity!
When God brought my husband and I back together, our lives moved very fast. We reconnected in November of 2010 and were married by January of 2011. I got pregnant with our son right after we got married so quitting bad habits weren’t a problem. It wasn’t until I had to go back to work after maternity leave that I began drinking again. This time, my drinking was very controlled. I would have 2 beers per night (at home) and no drunkenness. I wasn’t getting drunk so it had to be ok, right? For some people, it probably would be. For me, it wasn’t. Because of my past, drinking every night gave Satan the foothold he so loved to have in my life. If I wasn’t thinking about the 2 beers I allowed myself every night, I found myself constantly contemplating whether or not I was an alcoholic. Not to mention how ridiculous I felt for all of it! My obsessive thinking was centered around alcohol (when it should be Christ centered) and it wore me out mentally and spiritually…which is exactly where Satan wanted me. He wants us to be ineffective Christians and mothers! This is the pivotal moment when God brought me to a fork in the road. I could continue down the path I had been going and have a meaningful relationship with Him OR I could give up the bad habits and have a relationship with Him BARRIER FREE!!! I wish I could tell you this was an instantaneous life change for me like Paul on the road to Damascus. Ashamedly, it wasn’t, but I so longed for this type of life with Him. So much so, that for the first time in my life I was ready to begin this journey with Him. Isaiah 1:19 says, “If you are willing and obedient, you will eat from the best of the land.” I was willing to be obedient. That willingness is what He was looking for. The willingness to choose Him and He will help with the rest.
Two years ago, in a Bible Study, my teacher said if we tell Satan to get behind us (Matthew 16:23) without saying “in Jesus’ name” the phrase lacks any power. To say I came home angry would be an understatement. I was determined never to step foot in that classroom again! Little did I know, but that night and that verse would help me triumph over every fiery dart Satan throws my way. I realized that every time I had an urge or thought persuading me to give into my sinful desires, saying this verse IN JESUS’ NAME fought the battle for me and helped me find confidence with each victory. Once I found the confidence, I began sharing my struggles with the people God placed in my life who love me, pray for me and continue hold me accountable.
As of today, thoughts of using substances rarely cross my mind. If they do, I say my motto aloud and they pass. Jesus is always there to help me through.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Face2Face
- Read the following covenants found in scripture. Since this is a big assignment, it is the only one for this week.
- Write out the promise(s) of the covenant.
- To whom is the covenant given?
- What action is required with the covenant?
- How does the covenant apply to your life?
- Genesis 3: 16-19
- Genesis 1:26-30 and 2: 16-17
- Genesis 9
- Genesis 12: 1-3, 6-7
- Genesis 13: 14-17
- Genesis 17: 1-14
- Genesis 22: 15-18
- Deut. 11
- Deut. 30: 1-10
- 2 Samuel 7: 8-16
