This photo pretty much sums up my week. I was preparing a dessert for a special dinner, and the mixer went crazy spraying me with this gooey mess. When I tried turning the mixer off, I only succeeded in putting it on warp speed. With the kitchen now also covered in goo, I had the choice to laugh hysterically like my daughters were doing or cry uncontrollably.
Combined with all the other events leading up to this particular moment – tears won. And they flowed freely into a huge ugly cry.
I kept asking myself how in the world I allowed myself to get to this point.
It went something like this.
A simple, out of the ordinary thing occurred. Not necessarily huge, but something that causes a “Hmmmmm.” Instead of asking a question for clarification – you know – the rational, sane thing – I chose giving free reign to an overactive imagination.
Question after question plagued my every thought. I was fixated on an answer and instead of seeking truth from the source, I wrote and directed a script in my head of what this ‘Hmmmm” could be.
For days I dove deeper and deeper into this alternate reality I was creating. Scenarios played over and over causing anger, fear, sadness and depression to swirl through me – exploding on those in close proximity (much like the mixer goo). More than once I was asked, “What is wrong?”
I’m sure you know my answer…”Nothing.”
I knew something had to change. I couldn’t continue snapping at everyone and stomping around in anger. So after days of misery and despair, I finally asked the question.
And what a surprise, there was a simple answer. So simple I was immediately covered in shame for allowing my mind the freedom of creating lies – and even worse, believing and reacting to them.
My mind caused me to dwell on these lies for days. I not only dwelt in lies, I began questioning things about myself – re-evaluating what I should and should not do with my life. I was ready to give up things extremely important to me.
All those minutes -hours – days – wasted.
All the stress and worry for nothing.
Can you relate?
Are there times you allow your mind free reign?
How much time and energy could we save asking for clarification or seeking truth in the right way?
Proverbs 15:21 says, “Folly is joy to him that is destitute of wisdom, but a man of understanding walks uprightly.”
I do not want to live destitute of wisdom. I want to seek it with everything in me. I want to surround myself with people who possess it. I want to saturate myself in His Word, because that is where wisdom is found.
I love how James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
This is my prayer. Give me wisdom generously Lord. Because next time – and there is ALWAYS a next time – I hear or see something that causes the “Hmmmm,” I pray I’m a little wiser in my thoughts – not rushing into creating drama, but slowing down and seeking out truth.
And hopefully I’ll slow the mixer down next time too……
But/then:
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Read the following verses listing everything you learn about Saul’s spear. What do you find yourself hurling at others? (Words, emotions, etc.)
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1 Samuel 13:22
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1 Samuel 18: 10-11
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1 Samuel 19: 9-10
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1 Samuel 20:33
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1 Samuel 22:6
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1 Samuel 26:7
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2 Samuel 1:6
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Read Psalm 118.
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Write out everything you learn about the Lord from these verses.
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Write out verses 6 and 7.
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What does it mean “The Lord is for me?”
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Read Genesis 39 and/or 1 Samuel 18.
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Create a chart displaying each hindrance or circumstance with the outcome.
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Based on your chart, if God is with you, what is the outcome?
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