“SHUT-UP!!” These were the exact first words that flew from my mouth when our doctor delivered the news that “there were three in there.” This wasn’t a literal stop talking kind of shut-up but more of a “no-way, you-can’t-be-serious, hold-the-phone, this-can’t-be-real” sort of shut-up. My next words were “THREE WHAT??” “Three babies”, the doctor said. This was definitely a defining moment in my life but our story doesn’t start there.

Brian and I had been married for about three years when we decided we were ready to have a family. We had it all planned out. Being an elementary teacher at the time we had even worked out the timing of our pregnancy so that the delivery date would land perfectly at the end of the school year, allowing me to avoid any maternity leave. Well, our plan worked perfectly and we immediately got pregnant with a due date sometime in late May. As with all first time expectant parents, we were busy thinking of names, planning a nursery theme and simply dreaming of our new little one. However, our planning and dreaming came to a halt when after a few days of abnormalities in the pregnancy led us to an unplanned doctor’s visit which confirmed that we had lost the baby. We were only about 8 weeks in but you can’t convince me that the hurt would have been greater had it been 8 months. We were devastated. I mourned deeply for several days. Like curled up in a ball in the bed mourning, alternating between quit tears, outright sobs and all the while asking God “why”. I knew I wasn’t the first one to experience a miscarriage and in fact I was strengthened when many other ladies in my life later shared their same stories of loss and hope. But I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t on board with our seemingly perfect plan.

So on to plan B. We’ll try again and I’m sure it’ll happen for us just as quickly this time. Nope, it didn’t…because God needed to teach me a few things. He needed to break me. He needed me to stop planning and start relying. He needed me to have no control so that He could take control. Each month I would say “okay Lord, you know my heart. I give you control. I trust your timing and your will.” Then I would find out we weren’t pregnant again and I would find myself back at the throne of God asking, “but why God, why aren’t You listening? Why isn’t this happening? I prayed all the right things and told You I trusted You.” This prayer cycle went on for many months. We were discouraged and felt hopeless.

Throughout the process our doctor encouraged several hormone treatments and testing which proved unsuccessful. The next step was a low dose fertility drug. I was a little unsure about this because I told the doctor I didn’t want a whole litter of kids. He assured me the odds of that were very slim. I even went home and did my own research on this particular drug. The statistics showed there was less than a 1% chance of conceiving more than twins. Well, I should’ve bought a lottery ticket while I was at it because we beat the odds. TRIPLETS!!!!!

Our journey from here was fast and furious and might I add terrifying. We didn’t even know what to do with one baby, let alone three. Talk about learning a lesson in giving God control. At 27 weeks I went on hospital bed rest meaning I wouldn’t leave until I delivered. There was a concern that Baby C wasn’t getting the same nutrients as the other two. I would be closely monitored every day and could be asked to deliver at any time if her status didn’t change. I was given a series of steroid shots to help the babies’ lungs grow but we knew they would be pre-mature and most likely require breathing machines at first. Finally, at 31 weeks we gave birth to three very tiny babies weighing in at 3.10 lbs, 3.8 lbs, and 3.4 lbs. They did require oxygen for a few days but grew stronger and eventually began breathing totally on their own.

I remember the first time I saw them. The amount of wires and tubes attached to their little bodies was enough to bring me to tears. How were they ever going to survive in this great big world? But God had bigger plans for them and for us as their parents. After spending about a month in the NICU we brought them home and began a wild journey of figuring out our new life with three newborns. Those tiny little babies are 12 years old now and I couldn’t be happier that God took us through that valley of uncertainty to teach me how to let go and let God. I admit I’m still a student of this concept at times but I will always look back on this and remember how God’s plans are greater than my plans (Isaiah 55:8-9). May I trust God more fully because of the journey and may my faith be strengthened in knowing HE IS IN CONTROL!

Curious?

• Read the following verses and describe how each relates to the sword and how the verse applies to you:
  • Psalm 7:12
  • Psalm 64:3
  • Rev. 1:16
  • Rev. 2:12
  • Rev. 2:16
  • Rev. 6:8
  • Rev. 13:10 (Compare to Matthew 26:52)
  • Rev. 19:15
  • Rev. 19:21

  viagra pills without prescription He/she needs to concentrate on a psychological healing by seeking help from a professional with a counseling degree before they can pursue a courtship. In either way, couples cannot spend time with each other and brand cialis 20mg try them out. But few cialis 5 mg things had to be taken when you intend to have sex. But even with all the innovations developed to the market to make purchasing hassle-free, it can still be such a burden to do it especially if you are purchasing a medicine for erectile disorder, like the branded or viagra in india online.

• Read Zechariah 13 focusing on verse 7.
  • What does this passage tell us about the sword?
  • How does this compare to Matthew 26:31?
  • In your own words, how do these verses affect your life?

More Curious?

• Christophony = an appearance or non-physical manifestation of Christ.
  • Read/study the following scriptures:
    • Genesis 16: 7-14
    • Genesis 22: 11-18
    • Exodus 13: 21 (Compare 1 Co. 10:14)
    • Numbers 22: 31-35
    • Judges 5:23
    • 2 Kings 19:35
  • If we read these scriptures as an encounter with Christ in the Old Testament, do you have a new perspective or insight? Why or why not?

It was the end of the year 2013 and I was a brand new Marine Corps Corporal deployed to Afghanistan. Christopher and I were not yet married, but planned to tie the knot as soon as I was back on American soil. I had only been overseas for one month- the most stressful month of my life,  but not because of the perpetual misery of being away from Chris or the constant reporting of casualties-  I was keeping the biggest secret of my life: I was pregnant with our first child. Too many Marines had already dropped out of the deployment, and because my superiors had fought so hard for me to receive this huge opportunity, backing out was not an option. The plan was to be there for at least 3 months while they found a replacement from one of the neighboring units. It was not the best plan, but the only one Chris and I could come up with.  

It was in Afghanistan that I miscarried. Statistically, up to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I did not care about this. I cared that the little perfect life Chris and I created was gone. It was then that I was broken. Each day was a struggle, each moment more painful than the last. I could not carry on, so I decided I would not try anymore and I would end everything at the end of my shift. 

I couldn’t help but call Chris. I needed to make sure he would know nothing was his fault, since he’s the type to blame himself. It was this call that thwarted my efforts and would initiate the healing process I still pursue to this day. 

Chris and I did get married when I returned to Camp Pendleton. That first year of marriage, however, was far from the best. While I knew that there was nothing left to do for the little angel that I carried for such a short amount of time, I could not let go of the pain. 

 I was only twenty years old at the time I was deployed. No matter how hard we would have tried, Chris and I were not ready for parenthood. And God knew this. On September 13, 2015 I finally understood His purpose. The birth of my son Liam helped me see the plan God had made for me. Despite the ache in my heart each time I think of that baby that could have been, I realized something important. In order to be the best mother I could be, I needed to grow. Not just in my years, but as a person, a wife, a woman. I needed to experience the worst kind of loss, to truly cherish the best gift I could have ever received. 

Not a day goes by where I don’t think of our little angel. I think of how broken I was, and how God has put me back together by gifting me our two precious children.

 
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Homework

Read Psalm 51.

List everything David asks of the Lord. Which of these do you need from the Lord right now? Write out a prayer to Him asking for these specific needs.

It is easy to become disgusted with the actions of Amnon in 2 Samuel 13. Is there a time you have pretended to be something you were not in order to obtain a desire/goal? Or used manipulation to get your way ?

If so, write out how you remember this time in your life and if needed- confess and repent.

I believe I have such a personal struggle with David because he reminds me too much of myself; all my failures and shortcomings- the numerous times I fail the Lord and choose disobedience instead of His way. Yet I am thankful- through David- the Lord reveals His steadfast love and mercy towards us.

Where, like David, have you failed to respond to evil and wickedness in a proper way (specifically reread David’s actions upon learning of the wrong done to Tamar)?

I am a living miracle!

My dad was a very abusive father and at many times through his life I can see where God placed people so he might receive healing for the abuse his own father (my paternal grandfather) inflicted on him. My father was raised as a choir boy in The Church of England, however as an adult he was living far from God’s will. My father was also a first response driver in the Police Force- which resulted in him seeing all kind of negative events on a daily basis. This should have given him more reason to cling to God.

As an impulsive 7 year old girl returning home from a family vacation, I proceeded to run to my friend’s house which was a few blocks away- only God had other plans for what was to happen.  As I crossed the street on which I lived, clearly not looking to see the oncoming work vehicle, I was hit, the force of which sent my 7 year old body flying through the air to land 15 ft (approximately) further down the street. My dad ran to the scene of the accident whereupon he told God that, “regardless of if I lived or died, that he (my dad) would never stray from God again”. The paramedics arrived, and being in a coma as I was, God blessed me and shielded me from the pain I would otherwise of known. The paramedics informed my parents that I had “48 hours to live”.  My mother stayed with me in the Intensive Care Unit for what ended up being between 10-14 days,  I was in a coma and on life support for a part of that time. The doctors told my parents “if she lives, she’ll never walk or talk again”.

I stayed in the hospital from 04.13.81 – 06.10.81, and before the age of the Internet……. can you even imagine such a world? This is my favorite part,  I was receiving letters and cards from all over the world from praying people!!!

I was allowed to go home two months later with crutches to assist me in learning to walk again which did take quite some time to do. Many of the streets in the town I lived in still had the old Victorian style cobble stones- which made walking a challenge. But each and every time I feel even the slightest discomfort now, I am reminded of God’s goodness for me in the fact that I am fully able to walk. My learning suffered quite a bit at that time, and greatly effected my reading, I had to learn to do that all over again, but God met me there too!! He met me at EVERY ONE of my points of need.

I witnessed things a child should never even fear happening in their home, a place which should be a haven. My dad’s violent abuse was mostly inflicted on my older siblings (I am the youngest of four).  He was arrested for sexual abuse towards my siblings and my mother, and then sentenced for his crimes. It wasn’t until then that I learned things about him that left me feeling emotionally numb, a numbness that would last for 20 years until I said, “Enough!”. I found a Christian counselor two years ago and last year I completed a Step Study. Only then- for the first time ever, was I able to cry about any of this. No more spending all of the energy it takes to push that kind of pain down. And imagine this-  God met me here too!

I am so grateful to Jesus for giving me everything that I need to live out the purpose He has for me to do!

Curious?

What do the following verses say about circumcision?  How might this apply for us today?

• John 7: 22-24
• Act 15: 1-20

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Read 1 Samuel 18: 18-30

• What is the significance of Saul’s request?  How does this relate to circumcision?

More Curious?

Read Genesis 34

• What are the motives for circumcision?  What is the reward for obeying the request?  How does this apply for us in circumcising our hearts?

My family has always chuckled that my name means brave. It in no way was chosen by my parents because of that specific definition, but has definitely provided comic relief throughout my life.

If you know me, truly through and through- you know that my innate character is not brave. I am prone to wander (or most often… wonder) and Lord I feel it. We’re talking worse case scenario, life is over, I’ll be hiding under the covers for the rest of forever if anyone needs me again.

So obviously, when I slammed my finger in a car door and then managed to get a full scream out before unlatching the door to retrieve my finger the first thing out of my mouth was “I feel brave”. That’s a lie. It was “I’M SCARED”.

Then when my sister walked me to the kitchen sink and told me to run it under cold water while she got Ada out of her buckled car seat and brought her inside I was again basking in bravery, obviously proven by my knees buckling, giving out and being awoken in a pool of blood, unable to hear out of one ear, unable to close my mouth and convinced that I was crunching on at least six broken teeth. The first thing I said to my sister was “Look at me, the epitome of bravery.” (Again, it was “I’M SCARED” – my vast variety of vocabulary is prolific).

I’m not sure how many times I continued to say those two words for the rest of the day. Driving to the ER, waiting to see the doctor, having my ear cleaned out while the doctor was saying “Well, we can’t really figure out WHY your ear seems to be bleeding”, during the X-rays, the CT scan, the fixing of my chin, the news that I had a broken jaw, the referral to an oral surgeon, the X-rays in the surgeons office where I had to place my all too tender chin into the chin strap of the giant machine, hearing that my injury would require medical intervention instead of the hopeful “give it time to heal on its own” resolution that I was so prayerful for. Every chance I got to insert those pesky words, I did. Classic me behavior.

Two days later while waiting to go in for the procedure to wire arch bars to the top and bottom of my teeth which would be secured shut by elastics and then wires to ensure my mouth is in one stationary position, I was pretty terrified of all to come and all the modifications I would be submitting to for an unknown period of time, especially to this scared little girl (I’m still a little girl) who thrives on a constant active schedule to keep her brain from having TOO much time to grasp onto fear.

People have seen me since the procedure, and told me “you’re so brave”.

Um really I wasn’t. I was a fretting fool with no real other options except to listen to the medical professionals and wade into the unknown. And now, I am quiet.

Maybe you’ve gone through a period of time that you’ve been silent too. Maybe you lost your voice for a few days, maybe you experienced a grieving loss that left you searching for your voice for a while, maybe you even had a corrective surgery or breathing tube or any other type of procedure that physically left you unable to communicate through your voice. It’s not totally uncommon to experience something like this in the average persons life. If so, you know where I’m coming from. Suddenly you’re a listener. You can communicate through other methods, but they are either time consuming or painful or just not worth it. I’ve begun to wonder, what is worth it? How often has God called me to be a content listener but I’ve been blabbing too much to even hear Him?

Because I’ve got 29 years of circumstantial evidence that God does indeed have a sense of humor- my quiet times, verse of the day, and passages I’ve read throughout my bible have all circled around silence, quieting, or even tongues. Maybe He’s trying to tell me something, right? Each one has served as a small reminder that this accident did not come as any surprise to the God of the universe. Each one has pointed my trust to my creator instead of myself- and slowly, bravery creeps in. That’s what faith does, right? Equips us to make our way through this weary world, with purpose and hope for a future.

So even though my human nature is so flawed and so fearful-  I know that when I made the decision to accept Christ He changed my name, to Kelly who belongs to Me. And that makes me brave.

Curious?

• Read the following verses:
  • Luke 7:39
  • Luke 15:2
  • Matt. 9:11
  • Matt. 16:1
  • Matt. 16:11
  • Matt. 22:23
  • Acts 23:6
  • Matt. 5:20
  • Matt. 12:38
  • Matt. 15:1
  • Mark 2:16
  • Luke 5:21
    • Write out everything you learn about the Pharisees, Sadducees and Scribes.
    • Are there any of these thoughts/traits you see in your own life?  If so, what?  What does Jesus say about this specific thought/trait?

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• Is the forerunner in Malachi 3:1 the same as the forerunner in Malachi 4:5?  Research and support your answer with scriptures.

More Curious?

• Read Daniel 11.
  • What prophesies do see fulfilled during the 400 years of silence?

by Sally Johnson

Way back, many years ago, when I was a preteen, I became interested in reading advice columns. It all started when I would spend a week or so with my grandparents in the summers. My granddaddy had subscribed to THE FARM JOURNAL magazine for many years and there was a huge stack of them on his sun porch.  I loved to thumb through them and read the advice column “Up in Polly’s Room” written for teens. I learned a lot that probably shaped my years as a teenager like: At what age should you start dating? Should you kiss on a first date? Is it okay to call a boy? What is the right time for a curfew? etc. These were topics of interest to me as I prepared to launch into my teens!

Then, of course, as I grew older, I moved on to reading Dear Abby and Ann Landers in the local newspapers… often turning to those columns before reading anything else. The now defunct LADIES’ HOME JOURNAL also had a long-running column that interested me in my early marriage years called “Can This Marriage Be Saved?”, which featured real-life couples having marital problems. The column was split into three parts: a wife’s perspective, her husband’s take and then, a final judgment by a counselor.

After reading these advice columns, I often wondered if the advice given was actually taken and if it made a difference in the lives of those needing help.

Where do you go for advice? Would you write to an advice “expert” to help you solve  your problems? Probably not! We know that we can find the answer to all of life’s problems in God’s Word. In major contrast to all of the “worldly” advice columns I read in the past, the Bible is filled with sound advice. For example, the book of Proverbs, written mostly by Solomon, is filled with wisdom. Even though it was written thousands of years ago, its principles certainly apply to us today.

Many of you have probably heard me share about reading Proverbs 5 and 7 to our boys while traveling many hours in the car to Steve’s folks in west Texas. These chapters, and many others, were directed to young men, and I read from a version of the Bible that was popular in the early 70’s called GOOD NEWS FOR MODERN MAN. It was written in paragraph and narrative form and the message was powerful! My captive audience’s  response was, “Oh, Mom! The Bible doesn’t say that!” Well, yes! Yes it does!

We can also obtain Godly advice from our Christian friends and relatives. It is a good way to benefit from their wisdom that comes from life experiences and their relationship with God. This week’s study of Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, is a very good example of giving and heeding advice. Jethro saw a problem that Moses was having and offered sound advice in solving it, thus making Moses’ life so much easier.

Giving advice to others is a huge responsibility. It can’t be a casual thing since we’re dealing with the lives of others. We should take great care, because one small mistake could have dangerous consequences. Jesus gives us a warning in Mark 9:42 when He says: “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.” That is a pretty strong warning to all of us who give advice to others.

When people come to us for counsel or advice, they are actually trying to find the best way to deal with a particular matter. We need to give Godly counsel, the kind that would lead them closer to God while helping them handle their problem.

I recall a time when I had been hearing and observing the brokenness of a marriage for years. In a moment of weakness, I threw up my hands and said, “It’s done! Just end it!”  (Not one of my better moments!) A much wiser person than me responded with, “That’s like saying that God’s not big enough to handle it!” This made me go to my knees, praying more fervently for this couple! Yes, our God is big enough to change things! And He did, and I give Him all the glory!

What should we do before we give advice? We’ve talked about these many times before, but here they are again.

• • Pray – God already knows the person and the situation, and we need to ask Him to guide our words. In Daniel 2, the king had sought advice from his “wise men” , but they couldn’t help him, so he called in Daniel. Before seeing the king, Daniel asked his three friends to pray to God for answers. God provided Daniel with the answer to the king’s concerns.
  • Listen – James 1:19 tells us to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”. Resist the urge to speak before you hear and understand the whole story. And always be mindful that there are always two sides to every story. Proverbs 18:17 says, “The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.” Be certain that you have all the facts before you give any advice.

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• Search the Scriptures – Let the Bible be your only source for advice. God’s Word is our book for life and has instructions for every single problem we may have. It is the mouth and heart of God, the One who loves us and knows us and wants what is best for us. Read the Word of God daily so you can arm yourself with His knowledge. Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

If I were to give you additional advice on giving advice, I would also suggest things that you shouldn’t do.

• Don’t be judgmental or show a condemning spirit.
• Don’t talk too much but listen intently.
• Don’t take it personally if your Godly advice is not taken.
• Don’t ever share personal information with others.

Needless to say, my days of reading advice columns ended many years ago. As I matured in my Christian walk, I came to realize that worldly advice was all around me. Some of it might have been helpful, but it is incomplete and not nearly as helpful as the Truth revealed in God’s Word, the Holy Bible. God revealed to me that all advice should be given to draw others to a closer relationship with Him.  None of the advice columns that I had faithfully followed did that! Good advice must be based on Scripture.

Where do you go for advice? Just remember that not all advice is good advice. Good advice will stand on Scripture, and not apart from it!

(On a side note: Steve and I had only been married for one year when he took me to West Virginia to meet all of his relatives. While in the home of his Aunt Polly, I saw a plaque hanging on her wall. Imagine my surprise when I learned that she was the original author of the column in THE FARM JOURNAL’S “Up in Polly’s Room”!)

Curious?

• Read Deut. 1: 1- 1-18 (specifically focusing from verse 9 on)
  •  How do these verse compare to Exodus 18: 17-27?
• Do a word study on convert:
  • Hebrew – shub
  • Greek – epistrepho
    • Find verses where these words are used in scripture.
• In your own words, what is a conversion?
• Read Luke 19: 1 – 10.
  • Are there similarities between this story and Exodus 18?  If so, what? Do these both fit with what you’ve learned about conversion?

Really Curious???

• Read Psalm 78: 1 – 8
  • List out each pronoun and its antecedent.
  • What is said about each of these you have listed?
  • What directions are given to us in these verses?
  • Who benefits from our obedience in these verses?
  • Note:  Listen in verse one is NOT shema.

by Kasi Gonzales

“’Oh it’s a boy… but I feel your best bet at this point is to terminate this pregnancy.'”

Not quite the words you’re expecting to hear at your 20 week ultrasound for your highly anticipated and so far healthy first pregnancy.

Though he didn’t look me in the eye, his own eyes gazed over my head as though there was something much more interesting dancing behind me. The words came out of the OBGYN’s mouth so naturally, as though he had said them a thousand times. No feeling, no emotion. Just cold.

Immediately, my Marine Corps husband of two years, came across the table, looked the doctor square in the eye with a look I never want to see again and simultaneously we both replied, “That’s NOT an option.”

From the ultrasound, we discovered that I only had less than a centimeter of amniotic fluid protecting my baby. The rest of that appointment and the next few months were a blur. I remember learning that with the amount of fluid that was lacking around my baby, his lung and kidney formation would be seemingly impossible. I remember the doctor telling me that “if” the baby was born, he would never be able to breathe on his own and we would only have minutes with him alive.

My husband, took that information and never faltered in his belief that we would have a perfectly healthy son that he would play baseball with and watch and reenact WWE moves with. I, on the other hand, took what the doctors had said at face value. I figured if we had minutes to be parents we would be the best parents we could, and love him fiercely for as long as we could.

We were sent home with ultrasound pics and not really much else. I was told to take it easy and come back if I experienced any more issues. Our friends greeted us when we got back to our apartment with BOY onesies and cute little socks. I took them and loved them not knowing if we would ever get to see them on our son.

A month later, I stood up from the couch and my water broke. Not just a little, but full on water breaking- movie style. My first thought was “surely there must have been more fluid than they thought!”

We rushed to the ER where I was admitted for monitoring. They wanted to induce labor, but we refused. I was only 24 weeks, and we knew viability at that gestation is pretty grim. They agreed to let me stay in the hospital and be monitored as long as I showed no signs of infection. We were in a teaching hospital. So, for the next few weeks EVERYDAY new doctors would come in and have to hear our issues all over again. EVERYDAY the NICU doctors would come in and tell me the percentage rate of survival of a “normal” pregnancy at whatever gestation we were at. “25 weeks 2 days today… oh his viability has gone up to 12%!” We knew those numbers were for a normal pregnancy and mine was anything but. I took the advice from a nurse and planned a funeral for a baby I’d never met. For some crazy reason that helped me cope.

May 27, 2008 at 6:10am (after almost 6 weeks in the hospital) my stress test monitor began making noise. I rolled over and simply shook it a little since this was a common occurrence. The little stinker kept rolling over the umbilical cord- I honestly thought nothing of it. In comes nurse number one. She’s moving the monitor tying to find the baby’s heartbeat. Nothing. Nurse two comes in. She hit a button on the wall and within seconds the room was flooded with nurses poking, prodding and moving me.  Then in walks Dr. Marriot. God’s funny like that. That was the only doctor I had seen previously and actually remembered her name. She looked about 19 years old, but boy did she know her stuff. I really liked when she had rounds. She looked at me and said “We’re going.” I objected telling them it was too early and that the baby needed to stay in just a few more weeks. Dr. Marriott wasn’t having it.

I was out of my room, completely intubated, knocked out, and my son Jaxon was out in less than 90 seconds.

I woke up a few hours later with no knowledge of what had happened. I wasn’t sure if they had taken him or if I was having an intense nightmare. The first day/night of Jaxon’s life were rough to say the least. He was born blue, and not breathing on his own. While I was still snoozing they hooked him up to more machines than I ever knew existed. Once I was able to comprehend what was happening the doctors suggested the nurse roll my bed into the NICU so I could see my son. He was a perfect little being. He was 3lbs 6oz of perfection. We weren’t able to touch him, but only look.

I had prepared myself for the moment I would first see him. I always knew he would be born and we would have to make decisions about his care. In that moment I distanced myself from him. I didn’t want to get attached when the doctors had been telling me for months that he wouldn’t make it. The day and night of his birth they came and got me out of my room four different times. Each time they told me it was the end and I needed to say good bye and be by his side when he died. I had different prayers each time I went in.

The first time went something like, “God, I know that you have plans for good for me. Why are you making ME suffer. Fix him.”

The second, “God, I’ve done everything the doctors have told me. This isn’t fair. You’re making me suffer when you could just fix the problem.”

The third, “God, I’m done putting my faith in you. You’re obviously not listening. These doctors are going to fix Jaxon and you’ll see.”

The fourth (on my knees, face down in the middle of the NICU), “God… the doctors have given up, only you can help my son. He’s suffering and we’re suffering. If you’re going to take him, please take him. If you’re going to fix him, do it. YOUR will be done. Not mine.” I told my son goodbye and went back to my room knowing that he wasn’t going to make it.

About a half hour later, the nurse came in and said his numbers had improved. He might make it through the night.

The next morning, he looked better and there were hopes that we might be able to make it through the week with him.

Less than a week later Jaxon was completely off all breathing machines and had only a feeding tube. He spent exactly 4 weeks in the NICU before he came home. On our way out of the hospital we stopped by the office of the doctor, who at 20 weeks, told us abortion was our ONLY option.

He looked at our, perfectly healthy, teeny tiny son, and told us he was sorry- and that he had taken his wife and three daughters to church the weekend prior for the first time in over 10 years.

God taught us so much through this journey. Most importantly our faith, hope, and expectations cannot be in the things of this world. The world is broken, and the only perfect thing in this world is the Holy Spirit gifted to us.

Curious?

• Contrast Genesis 42: 29-36 and Romans 8:28.
  • Which one of these phrases do you find yourself claiming? Why?

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• List everything Romans 8 says about those in Christ.
  • Which ones do you have trouble accepting in your life? Find additional verses in scripture and pray to help with claiming this truth.

Really Curious????

• Read Psalm 44 (Romans 8:36 quotes from here)
  • What is the message of Psalm 44 and what is the connection to Romans 8?

You’ve heard the old saying, “Curiosity killed the cat?”

As a young child I heard this often when my questions became an annoyance or I was snooping around a Christmas tree.

I must admit, it didn’t hinder me much; if anything, I was more curious than ever.

What makes you curious?

Maybe the better question is, “Are you ever curious?’

Not the kind of curious where you Google a recipe or find out the song title to the lyrics stuck in your head.

I’m talking about a curiousness that requires hours of reading, pondering, digging and searching…..

Curiousness that requires personal effort and time…

Did you know “curiosity killed the cat” is not even the original phrasing of this idiom?  The phrase was “Care killed the cat” where care meant worry or sorrow.

In 1598, Ben Johnson penned the line in his poem “Everyman in His Humour.”

Helter skelter, hang sorrow, care’ll kill a Cat, up-tails all, and a Louse for the Hangman.

Shakespeare followed suit in his play “Much Ado About Nothing.”

What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat? Thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.

It wasn’t until 1898 in the Galveston Daily News that curiosity received the blame for the poor cat’s demise.

Whichever way the phrase is used, it clearly was meant to discourage inquisitiveness.

Current research indicates a growing stagnation in our curiosity – in our world of instant gratification (“Alexa tell me….”), there is no longer the same desire to invest time searching in-depth for information.

We are losing our desire to question.

Strange questions, yet I have spent worthwhile time with them.  And I suggest them to you also, that your spirit grow in curiosity….”  Mary Oliver

This is my prayer for each of us.

Be curious.

Ask the strange questions – lots of strange questions.

Dig for what you do not know.

Quit being satisfied with the knowledge you already possess.

Find what interests you and discover everything you can about it.

If curiosity is going to kill the cat, make it worth it!

*We at Blessedmess.us would love to hear from you and what makes you curious.  Feel free to comment with questions you’re currently asking or topics you’re digging into right now.

Curious?

• Read Romans 7: 7-25
  • List everything Paul says about the Law
    • Note – Mosaic law in verses 7 – 21.
    • Principles (law) in verses 22 – 25.

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  • How does the law in 22 – 25 differ from the Law in 7 – 21?
• Read Romans 15: 1-8 and Romans 16: 17-20.
  • How Is Paul ministering to Christians in these passages?
    • Which statement stands out to you?
      • Spend some time digging into the statement.
        • What is the context?
        • Is there a word or phrase that impacts you?

~by Judy Chaney

My first thoughts approaching writing this is that I am certainly not a writer and I don’t really have anything to interest anyone. While thinking about it, we read my “go to” verse in my morning Bible Study class. Philippians 4:6-7 has carried me through many trials.

“Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Life Application Bible)

I came to depend on this verse during a time in my life when I was on an island. I had been put in a place where I did not fit. Because of this, depression set in and I sought the Lord continually. I couldn’t understand why I was so unhappy, but I did know that God loved me.

As I was searching the scriptures I came across Philippians 4:6-7 and memorized it. I checked into the detailed descriptions of what the words truly meant. When I have a crisis in my life, I start repeating this verse and God’s peace comes. In the last two years, my life has drastically changed. I am now a widow and this verse has not stopped continually helping to remind me to lean on God and trust Him completely with everything.

Face2Face

• Read Obadiah
  • List everything prophesied about Edom.
    • What are the reasons for the judgements?

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  • Where, in your life, do you see traces of Edom?
• Continue memorizing Exodus 14:13

by Lindsey Ehle

bar·ri·er (n)

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Do you have any of these in your life?

What if it was in reference to God?

I do, but I once had a lot more.

I come from a very long line of addicts. A long line of addicts that have no idea they are addicts. Thanks to God, His grace and this “barrier” word He put in my head 2 years ago, I have been able to WALK THROUGH to the other side of a substance addiction.

Being a single mom is hard, lonely and stressful. Hard and lonely often bring its friend sadness. Sadness and stress led me do things that I THOUGHT would make me feel better. For me, this was drinking to excess, abusing the ADHD medicine I was prescribed or taking various other pills I was prescribed or given. All of these things became a habit for me. A habit that has taken years to overcome. A habit for someone that comes from a long line of addicts most often turns into an addiction because your body becomes chemically dependent on the substance(s). This is me.

Before my husband and I got married, my drinking had gotten pretty bad. The ADHD medicine I took caused a severe come down at the end of the day and I convinced myself drinking helped level me out. This combined with my stress level had me spiraling into a life I have chosen not to remember this specifically in years. The conviction to stop was there, but I just couldn’t make the choice to turn everything around. My life was just too stressful and my future so unknown. Holding onto the promises God had so assuredly spoken into my heart became more and more difficult with each year that went by. There were times I was so angry and hurt that  I now see that God was holding me in the place where I was. When you are in midst of those times, you often can’t see or feel that He is actually holding you. This truth I am realizing even today. Reminiscing can bring so much clarity!

When God brought my husband and I back together, our lives moved very fast. We reconnected in November of 2010 and were married by January of 2011. I got pregnant with our son right after we got married so quitting bad habits weren’t a problem. It wasn’t until I had to go back to work after maternity leave that I began drinking again. This time, my drinking was very controlled. I would have 2 beers per night (at home) and no drunkenness. I wasn’t getting drunk so it had to be ok, right? For some people, it probably would be. For me, it wasn’t. Because of my past, drinking every night gave Satan the foothold he so loved to have in my life. If I wasn’t thinking about the 2 beers I allowed myself every night, I found myself constantly contemplating whether or not I was an alcoholic. Not to mention how ridiculous I felt for all of it! My obsessive thinking was centered around alcohol (when it should be Christ centered) and it wore me out mentally and spiritually…which is exactly where Satan wanted me. He wants us to be ineffective Christians and mothers! This is the pivotal moment when God brought me to a fork in the road. I could continue down the path I had been going and have a meaningful relationship with Him OR I could give up the bad habits and have a relationship with Him BARRIER FREE!!! I wish I could tell you this was an instantaneous life change for me like Paul on the road to Damascus. Ashamedly, it wasn’t, but I so longed for this type of life with Him. So much so, that for the first time in my life I was ready to begin this journey with Him. Isaiah 1:19 says, “If you are willing and obedient, you will eat from the best of the land.” I was willing to be obedient. That willingness is what He was looking for. The willingness to choose Him and He will help with the rest.

Two years ago, in a Bible Study, my teacher said if we tell Satan to get behind us (Matthew 16:23) without saying “in Jesus’ name” the phrase lacks any power. To say I came home angry would be an understatement. I was determined never to step foot in that classroom again! Little did I know, but that night and that verse would help me triumph over every fiery dart Satan throws my way. I realized that every time I had an urge or thought persuading me to give into my sinful desires, saying this verse IN JESUS’ NAME fought the battle for me and helped me find confidence with each victory. Once I found the confidence, I began sharing my struggles with the people God placed in my life who love me, pray for me and continue hold me accountable.

As of today, thoughts of using substances rarely cross my mind. If they do, I say my motto aloud and they pass. Jesus is always there to help me through.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

Face2Face

• Read the following covenants found in scripture. Since this is a big assignment, it is the only one for this week.
  • Write out the promise(s) of the covenant.
  • To whom is the covenant given?
  • What action is required with the covenant?
  • How does the covenant apply to your life?
    • Genesis 3: 16-19
    • Genesis 1:26-30 and 2: 16-17
    • Genesis 9
    • Genesis 12: 1-3, 6-7
    • Genesis 13: 14-17
    • Genesis 17: 1-14
    • Genesis 22: 15-18
    • Deut. 11
    • Deut. 30: 1-10
    • 2 Samuel 7: 8-16

This time it’s Kelly.

I lead a life that is flurried with struggle. Maybe you do too?

Maybe our struggles are the same, or maybe they are different.

But one thing is the same, Christ overcame them on the cross. For each of us. Individually, and we read this in Isaiah this week.

It’s been about a decade since I was diagnosed with OCD. With that diagnosis came intense relief, and yet intense fear as well. How do I cope with this? How will it manifest? After therapy, and psychologists and medicine (best choice for ME) I was able to finally place my feet on solid ground. This was of course with a lot of prayer, community, trust, and faith.

After that initial breakthrough and prevailing success- I was very unprepared for a second bout with this ugly thorn about a year later. But it came. And God delivered me through it. Only through Him, I tell you though. And then a third bout. And a fourth. And a fifth. And by now I’ve lost count.

Life has become more difficult and yet so much sweeter with a husband and toddler now in the mix. I have more responsibility, more love, and more to fear.

I’m in the middle of one of those lost-count-bouts now. One that brings with it waves of emotions and lots of tears. With fears controlling my thoughts and my mind having the diagnosed inability to let go- I forcibly remind myself of all that God has done. Because for all those battles that I’ve been through and lost count, God has delivered me every time. He’s delivered me so many times that I’ve LOST COUNT. What a praise that is.

With the tears that sometimes run like a faucet, I tell myself this is how I will make room. I get rid of those tears that hold fear and unknown and tomorrow and I make room for Him. For His promises. For His daily manna, enough just for today.

In Isaiah we read about all the sin that Christ bore, to redeem us. “He was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

I belong to him. I am healed through him. The fears that I let sometimes have control are why he died. He bought me with a price, and I will not allow the fears that Satan whispers to keep me silent about who God is and what He has done for me. I will not forget that He is faithful.  I will not be like an Israelite who doubted the promises and forgot the deliverance that their God continually provided. With this affliction comes great opportunity. I will choose undoubtedly, to be reminded of Him and to tell others of his unfailing love.

Sometimes when I’m struggling I’ll choose an anthem full of God’s promises to strengthen me. Almost like a musical altar, built to remember what God has done so as time passes and I hear that song again, I am reminded of His great love and faithfulness. Here is the song God provided this time:

Control by Tenth Avenue North

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Face2Face

• Read Isaiah 53:9 and Hebrews 12:2
  • How do these two verses relate to one another?
  • What is our role in these verses?
• Read Hebrews 9: 1-28
  • Specifically focus on what Christ did and why.
  • Write out how this chapter supports Isaiah 53.
  • How can you apply these scriptures to your life right now?

Feeling Ambitious?

• Read the following scriptures. List every detail given in these scriptures.
  • Matthew 27:45
  • Mark 15:33
  • Luke 23: 44-45
• Using your concordance, look up scriptures concerning darkness.
• Based on your study, what occurred during the three hours of darkness on the cross?
  • Try not to use any outside resources other than a concordance and your Bible.