“Don’t go”. Two words- whispered through tears. Words that should have shattered my heart into a million pieces upon hearing, but instead hardened it beyond any emotion. I walked out without a backward glance, leaving my husband- just one day after his father’s funeral- standing alone in the middle of our kitchen. I began justifying my behavior as soon as I got in the car and headed out for a week long girls trip.
I deserved this.
I worked hard.
He didn’t need me.
I would be a better wife after a vacation.
And on and on.
Shamefully, I admit that I never felt guilty the entire trip, and I enjoyed it. A lot.
It wasn’t until several years later, sitting in a Bible study on the submission of wives that all the memories of my years of rebellious, selfish behavior came flooding in and ripped my heart to shreds. So many wasted days, that I can never get back in my marriage. The friends I traveled with are long gone, but my husband was a constant.
Constantly neglected.
Constantly disrespected.
Constantly unloved.
I repented. I asked for forgiveness. I began praying that God would change my heart to have so much love and respect for my husband. I even specifically prayed for tingles when he walked into the room. Our God is faithful.
- Read Psalm 37:1-5
- List all of the actions we are to take in these verses. Which of these actions are easy for you? Which ones are more difficult? Why?
- Focus on verse 5. What do you need to commit to the Lord so He can act?
- Write out a commitment to Him about this/these area(s) in your life.
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- Christ is our example in submission. Read the following passages, and focus on the example Jesus is setting for us:
- John 6:26-40
- Mark 13:32-42
- John 5:18-24
- In what ways did Jesus submit in each passage? How can we apply these examples in our submission to Him? To our husbands? To leadership?