This morning, I’m finding it hard to resist reminiscing over this past year.  Exactly one year ago today, my husband and I stood in waist deep water in our home.  Hurricane Harvey had poured through our doors overnight taking everything in his path with him.  We navigated through the floating furniture and assessed the damage. 

 There was a lot.

I’m sure you are no stranger to unexpected situations in life.  As a matter of fact, we are guaranteed them.  Jesus tells us in John 16:33,  “…in this world you will have trouble.”  No way around it.  What matters is our response when a crisis occurs.

Throughout the days and months post Harvey, situations and encounters never expected popped up constantly.  With each one, an immediate choice was often required, and boy was it difficult at times making the right choice.

How do you find yourself responding when life blind sides you?  Do you find it hard to resist acting out in anger, frustration, negativity, impatience, weariness, and/or jealousy?

I wish I could tell you how successful I was resisting acting out from these emotions.

I wasn’t.

At least not consistently.

Yet in the times I did remember and rely on God and His Word to carry me through the moment, I saw His faithfulness and love so clearly displayed.

And looking back now, His hand in every step we endured is apparent in more ways than we realized.

Do you know His faithfulness? 

Jesus is real.  His sacrifice for you and me is real.  He alone provides strength and courage for the hard times we endure.

Maybe you (like me) have difficulty resisting acting out negatively from emotion.

He will help us resist.

He set the example for us to follow and provides the words of encouragement we need in every situation.

Check these out…

Negativity

“Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.”  Colossians 3:3

Gossip

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Ephesians 4:29

Fear

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

Anger

“In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,”. Ephesians 4:26

Impatience

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” Proverbs 14:29

Weariness

“It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.”  Psalm 18:3

Jealousy

“And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another.  This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”  Ecclesiastes 4:4

Unbelief

“‘Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!’”  Mark 9: 24

Whatever you face, God has the answer.

I write this sitting in our restored home – different with imperfections.

Both the house and me.

Thankful.

Blessed.

 

Working on resisting the desire to relive those emotions of last year over and over again today.

What about you? What are you resisting today?

 

 

For further study:

• Read Zechariah 3:1 – 7
  • The word accuse in verse 1 is translated resist in the KJV.  It is the Hebrew word watan meaning accuse, attack, and be an adversary.   (What does 1 Peter 5:9 tell us?)

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• Write out everything the Lord says in Zech. 3: 1-7.
  • How can His words assist you in resisting?
• Read Luke 21: 10 – 24
  • What does Jesus tell us specifically in verse 15?
  • The Greek word for resist is anthistemi and means oppose or withstand.  I love the compound word withstand
  • With = accompanied by, possessing something
  • Stand = an attitude toward a particular issue; a position taken
  • If we could only remember in times we need to resist that Jesus accompanies us through His Spirit helping us stand in an attitude of agreement with Him.
• Write out everything Jesus tells us in Luke 21:10-24.
  • How can His words assist you in resisting?
• Read 2 Timothy 3:8
  • What did Jannes and Jambres oppose (resist)?
  • See Exodus 7:11  – Jannes and Jambres are believed to be among this group.
• Spend time in prayer asking the Lord to reveal what truth you are opposing.  Find scriptures to saturate you in that truth.

Summer’s busyness has left little time for reflection. Maybe you are in the midst of an overly saturated schedule as well. As a new school year approaches, I am forcing myself to pause for a moment or two and remember these last couple of months, because they were life changing. Yes, roll your eyes, I know this is a trite expression used for almost anything these days.

Yet it is the only phrase I can possibly use to describe this Summer.

Flexibility is not a strength of mine; I admire people who go with the flow and adapt quickly when necessary.

This. Is. Not. Me.

My family went to Ecuador on a mission trip. My husband and I wanted to go on mission for years, but we really wanted to take our children with us. This trip allowed for children to go as well, so we were completely excited. We planned, met with the rest of the team going, and had a detailed schedule in hand.

I like schedules.

The day we flew to Quito, we learned the pastor hosting our group in his home had lost his mother. Flexible was apparently our new “go to” word.

The lengthy flight provided ample time for contemplation on the work we were going to do. Sadly, I was feeling a little proud that our family was engaging in this mission. I imagined the impact we would have sharing the gospel with people in the communities.

The first morning was an outdoor church service. The pastor hosting us did not attend – he was at his mother’s funeral. After the service, we sat on the ground sharing a meal with all who came to worship and attempted to re-plan our days. The plan included one item – be flexible.

 

Our first outing was delivering love bags to homes. We loaded a bus and headed to town. We didn’t know much about the homes we were visiting. Since there were about 20 of us with translators and interns, we knew it didn’t make sense for all of us to swarm in on the homeowners. When we arrived at the first stop, our leader told us our family was up first. Our family of four plus a translator got off the bus.

We were met outside the home by the homeowner and invited to the back of the house. We were told by our translator the homeowner wanted to share his story with us. Now wait a minute! I thought we were the ones coming to share…

The back of the home housed a cement trough used for dishes, bathing and water storage. The homeowner shared there had been an explosion which caused debris to fall on his home. The debris had also fallen on his daughter who had been standing at this trough. She had been in a coma and her face had been disfigured. Though she had eventually regained consciousness, her scars were far from healed. In addition to the physical harm, their home had been destroyed.

My heart raced and icy fingers crawled up my back – this was no chance encounter meeting this family. The man invited us inside to see the damage; their home was unlivable. As we stood in what remained of a living room, my husband quietly asked if we could share a story with them. He had read my mind. When they agreed, he told them how our home had been severely damaged in a flood caused by a hurricane. Hurricane Harvey had stormed in bringing four feet of water in our home just months before we took this trip. My husband shared how we had lost a lot. Yet, my husband had more to offer; he shared how every single step of the recovery and rebuild, God had provided in ways we could never have anticipated. From the amazing people who came to help to the speediness of a rebuild – God provided for us.

In this room with complete strangers, we cried tears of unity – unity of destruction and unity of hope. We prayed for one another, shared the food basket and left overwhelmed with emotion.

 

There were numerous encounters similar to this. Moments only God could appoint and prepare long before our arrival to this beautiful city. By the end of day one, I knew there was so much more here for me than anything I was bringing to the trip. But there was one moment – one encounter – that truly changed my perspective – that was that life changing moment…

Toward the middle of the trip we headed by bus toward a town embedded in the side of a mountain. The bus had to stop at the top of a dirt path, and we walked the rest of the way down to visit the home. Pulling the curtain aside (literally the front door), we entered the home ready to share the gospel. By this point, we all had a lot of practice sharing Jesus. Two young girls, both with small children were our listeners. One child was about six weeks old and I couldn’t help but grab the little baby boy and love on him for awhile. We talked to the moms about their love for these sweet boys playing around us and the one in my arms. We asked if there was anything that would stop them from loving these babies. They looked at us like we were crazy and said very emphatically, NO!

We explained that it is the same with Jesus. He loves us completely, and there is nothing we could do to change that. They both prayed to accept Christ and as much as I hated to do it, I had to give the baby back.

 
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As we headed to the door, the translator grabbed my arm and said the homeowner had asked for me to stay behind – send everyone else out- you stay. I’d be lying to say my heart didn’t increase its beat a touch. I shared with the group I was staying back a minute (but I might have suggested they stay close).

Once everyone left, the homeowner looked me in the eyes and pleaded I speak with the young woman with the baby I had held. There was an issue in her life that needed some specific guidance and prayer. In the last several years, God has allowed me to be part of situations I normally would not encounter. When the homeowner shared the situation, it was one the Lord had put in my path numerous times before. He had prepared me for this. He had given me words and scriptures repeatedly for this moment – such a time as this.

Getting to my knees on the dirt floor, the translator and I shared what God said about this sweet mom’s beauty and worth. That she was a child of God who was fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God, (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 139:14). We cried together – we prayed together. We told her steps to take for her specific situation.

It took everything within me to walk out of that home. I wanted to cling to this woman and love on her until she got it. I knew I might never know if she listened – had really heard – and got help – stayed faithful to the decision she made for Jesus.

I don’t know how I made it up the mountain, but I do remember falling into my husband’s arms- holding on to him as tightly as possible, because I had been broken. God had completely split my heart open – sifted out a lot of ugly gunk residing there for a while, and began preparing it for new work He alone can and will do.

Perspective changed.

Priorities changed.

God’s way works. It always works. I just had to get out of the way and submit to His plan. Complete obedience – all the time.

Flexibility is key.

How many moments we would have missed adhering to a schedule.  Moments appointed before we ever stepped foot on a plane.

Not long into the trip, we realized a set time was irrelevant. Loading the bus at 2:00 might actually turn out to be 2:50, hence the phrase “it’s 2:00 until it’s 3:00.” Time really didn’t matter as long as God was ordering our steps. His timing is perfect.

And because He is such a good and loving God, a few weeks after we were back home I received word of the sweet young woman in the difficult situation. I had prayed for her and longed to hear something about her life.

A picture was sent of her and her son standing with the a group of people – a groups of people that had started a new church on the side of that mountain. Her smile was radiant.

So was mine!

 

The church started on the side of the mountain!

 

“SHUT-UP!!” These were the exact first words that flew from my mouth when our doctor delivered the news that “there were three in there.” This wasn’t a literal stop talking kind of shut-up but more of a “no-way, you-can’t-be-serious, hold-the-phone, this-can’t-be-real” sort of shut-up. My next words were “THREE WHAT??” “Three babies”, the doctor said. This was definitely a defining moment in my life but our story doesn’t start there.

Brian and I had been married for about three years when we decided we were ready to have a family. We had it all planned out. Being an elementary teacher at the time we had even worked out the timing of our pregnancy so that the delivery date would land perfectly at the end of the school year, allowing me to avoid any maternity leave. Well, our plan worked perfectly and we immediately got pregnant with a due date sometime in late May. As with all first time expectant parents, we were busy thinking of names, planning a nursery theme and simply dreaming of our new little one. However, our planning and dreaming came to a halt when after a few days of abnormalities in the pregnancy led us to an unplanned doctor’s visit which confirmed that we had lost the baby. We were only about 8 weeks in but you can’t convince me that the hurt would have been greater had it been 8 months. We were devastated. I mourned deeply for several days. Like curled up in a ball in the bed mourning, alternating between quit tears, outright sobs and all the while asking God “why”. I knew I wasn’t the first one to experience a miscarriage and in fact I was strengthened when many other ladies in my life later shared their same stories of loss and hope. But I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t on board with our seemingly perfect plan.

So on to plan B. We’ll try again and I’m sure it’ll happen for us just as quickly this time. Nope, it didn’t…because God needed to teach me a few things. He needed to break me. He needed me to stop planning and start relying. He needed me to have no control so that He could take control. Each month I would say “okay Lord, you know my heart. I give you control. I trust your timing and your will.” Then I would find out we weren’t pregnant again and I would find myself back at the throne of God asking, “but why God, why aren’t You listening? Why isn’t this happening? I prayed all the right things and told You I trusted You.” This prayer cycle went on for many months. We were discouraged and felt hopeless.

Throughout the process our doctor encouraged several hormone treatments and testing which proved unsuccessful. The next step was a low dose fertility drug. I was a little unsure about this because I told the doctor I didn’t want a whole litter of kids. He assured me the odds of that were very slim. I even went home and did my own research on this particular drug. The statistics showed there was less than a 1% chance of conceiving more than twins. Well, I should’ve bought a lottery ticket while I was at it because we beat the odds. TRIPLETS!!!!!

Our journey from here was fast and furious and might I add terrifying. We didn’t even know what to do with one baby, let alone three. Talk about learning a lesson in giving God control. At 27 weeks I went on hospital bed rest meaning I wouldn’t leave until I delivered. There was a concern that Baby C wasn’t getting the same nutrients as the other two. I would be closely monitored every day and could be asked to deliver at any time if her status didn’t change. I was given a series of steroid shots to help the babies’ lungs grow but we knew they would be pre-mature and most likely require breathing machines at first. Finally, at 31 weeks we gave birth to three very tiny babies weighing in at 3.10 lbs, 3.8 lbs, and 3.4 lbs. They did require oxygen for a few days but grew stronger and eventually began breathing totally on their own.

I remember the first time I saw them. The amount of wires and tubes attached to their little bodies was enough to bring me to tears. How were they ever going to survive in this great big world? But God had bigger plans for them and for us as their parents. After spending about a month in the NICU we brought them home and began a wild journey of figuring out our new life with three newborns. Those tiny little babies are 12 years old now and I couldn’t be happier that God took us through that valley of uncertainty to teach me how to let go and let God. I admit I’m still a student of this concept at times but I will always look back on this and remember how God’s plans are greater than my plans (Isaiah 55:8-9). May I trust God more fully because of the journey and may my faith be strengthened in knowing HE IS IN CONTROL!

Curious?

 

• Read the following verses and describe how each relates to the sword and how the verse applies to you:
  • Psalm 7:12
  • Psalm 64:3
  • Rev. 1:16
  • Rev. 2:12
  • Rev. 2:16
  • Rev. 6:8
  • Rev. 13:10 (Compare to Matthew 26:52)
  • Rev. 19:15
  • Rev. 19:21

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• Read Zechariah 13 focusing on verse 7.
  • What does this passage tell us about the sword?
  • How does this compare to Matthew 26:31?
  • In your own words, how do these verses affect your life?

 

More Curious?

 

• Christophony = an appearance or non-physical manifestation of Christ.
  • Read/study the following scriptures:
    • Genesis 16: 7-14
    • Genesis 22: 11-18
    • Exodus 13: 21 (Compare 1 Co. 10:14)
    • Numbers 22: 31-35
    • Judges 5:23
    • 2 Kings 19:35
  • If we read these scriptures as an encounter with Christ in the Old Testament, do you have a new perspective or insight? Why or why not?

It was the end of the year 2013 and I was a brand new Marine Corps Corporal deployed to Afghanistan. Christopher and I were not yet married, but planned to tie the knot as soon as I was back on American soil. I had only been overseas for one month- the most stressful month of my life,  but not because of the perpetual misery of being away from Chris or the constant reporting of casualties-  I was keeping the biggest secret of my life: I was pregnant with our first child. Too many Marines had already dropped out of the deployment, and because my superiors had fought so hard for me to receive this huge opportunity, backing out was not an option. The plan was to be there for at least 3 months while they found a replacement from one of the neighboring units. It was not the best plan, but the only one Chris and I could come up with.  

It was in Afghanistan that I miscarried. Statistically, up to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I did not care about this. I cared that the little perfect life Chris and I created was gone. It was then that I was broken. Each day was a struggle, each moment more painful than the last. I could not carry on, so I decided I would not try anymore and I would end everything at the end of my shift. 

I couldn’t help but call Chris. I needed to make sure he would know nothing was his fault, since he’s the type to blame himself. It was this call that thwarted my efforts and would initiate the healing process I still pursue to this day. 

Chris and I did get married when I returned to Camp Pendleton. That first year of marriage, however, was far from the best. While I knew that there was nothing left to do for the little angel that I carried for such a short amount of time, I could not let go of the pain. 

 I was only twenty years old at the time I was deployed. No matter how hard we would have tried, Chris and I were not ready for parenthood. And God knew this. On September 13, 2015 I finally understood His purpose. The birth of my son Liam helped me see the plan God had made for me. Despite the ache in my heart each time I think of that baby that could have been, I realized something important. In order to be the best mother I could be, I needed to grow. Not just in my years, but as a person, a wife, a woman. I needed to experience the worst kind of loss, to truly cherish the best gift I could have ever received. 

Not a day goes by where I don’t think of our little angel. I think of how broken I was, and how God has put me back together by gifting me our two precious children.

 
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Homework

Read Psalm 51.

List everything David asks of the Lord. Which of these do you need from the Lord right now? Write out a prayer to Him asking for these specific needs.

It is easy to become disgusted with the actions of Amnon in 2 Samuel 13. Is there a time you have pretended to be something you were not in order to obtain a desire/goal? Or used manipulation to get your way ?

If so, write out how you remember this time in your life and if needed- confess and repent.

I believe I have such a personal struggle with David because he reminds me too much of myself; all my failures and shortcomings- the numerous times I fail the Lord and choose disobedience instead of His way. Yet I am thankful- through David- the Lord reveals His steadfast love and mercy towards us.

Where, like David, have you failed to respond to evil and wickedness in a proper way (specifically reread David’s actions upon learning of the wrong done to Tamar)?

I am a living miracle!

My dad was a very abusive father and at many times through his life I can see where God placed people so he might receive healing for the abuse his own father (my paternal grandfather) inflicted on him. My father was raised as a choir boy in The Church of England, however as an adult he was living far from God’s will. My father was also a first response driver in the Police Force- which resulted in him seeing all kind of negative events on a daily basis. This should have given him more reason to cling to God.

As an impulsive 7 year old girl returning home from a family vacation, I proceeded to run to my friend’s house which was a few blocks away- only God had other plans for what was to happen.  As I crossed the street on which I lived, clearly not looking to see the oncoming work vehicle, I was hit, the force of which sent my 7 year old body flying through the air to land 15 ft (approximately) further down the street. My dad ran to the scene of the accident whereupon he told God that, “regardless of if I lived or died, that he (my dad) would never stray from God again”. The paramedics arrived, and being in a coma as I was, God blessed me and shielded me from the pain I would otherwise of known. The paramedics informed my parents that I had “48 hours to live”.  My mother stayed with me in the Intensive Care Unit for what ended up being between 10-14 days,  I was in a coma and on life support for a part of that time. The doctors told my parents “if she lives, she’ll never walk or talk again”.

I stayed in the hospital from 04.13.81 – 06.10.81, and before the age of the Internet……. can you even imagine such a world? This is my favorite part,  I was receiving letters and cards from all over the world from praying people!!!

I was allowed to go home two months later with crutches to assist me in learning to walk again which did take quite some time to do. Many of the streets in the town I lived in still had the old Victorian style cobble stones- which made walking a challenge. But each and every time I feel even the slightest discomfort now, I am reminded of God’s goodness for me in the fact that I am fully able to walk. My learning suffered quite a bit at that time, and greatly effected my reading, I had to learn to do that all over again, but God met me there too!! He met me at EVERY ONE of my points of need.

I witnessed things a child should never even fear happening in their home, a place which should be a haven. My dad’s violent abuse was mostly inflicted on my older siblings (I am the youngest of four).  He was arrested for sexual abuse towards my siblings and my mother, and then sentenced for his crimes. It wasn’t until then that I learned things about him that left me feeling emotionally numb, a numbness that would last for 20 years until I said, “Enough!”. I found a Christian counselor two years ago and last year I completed a Step Study. Only then- for the first time ever, was I able to cry about any of this. No more spending all of the energy it takes to push that kind of pain down. And imagine this-  God met me here too!

I am so grateful to Jesus for giving me everything that I need to live out the purpose He has for me to do!

Curious?

What do the following verses say about circumcision?  How might this apply for us today?

• John 7: 22-24
• Act 15: 1-20

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Read 1 Samuel 18: 18-30

• What is the significance of Saul’s request?  How does this relate to circumcision?

More Curious?

Read Genesis 34

• What are the motives for circumcision?  What is the reward for obeying the request?  How does this apply for us in circumcising our hearts?

My family has always chuckled that my name means brave. It in no way was chosen by my parents because of that specific definition, but has definitely provided comic relief throughout my life.

If you know me, truly through and through- you know that my innate character is not brave. I am prone to wander (or most often… wonder) and Lord I feel it. We’re talking worse case scenario, life is over, I’ll be hiding under the covers for the rest of forever if anyone needs me again.

So obviously, when I slammed my finger in a car door and then managed to get a full scream out before unlatching the door to retrieve my finger the first thing out of my mouth was “I feel brave”. That’s a lie. It was “I’M SCARED”.

Then when my sister walked me to the kitchen sink and told me to run it under cold water while she got Ada out of her buckled car seat and brought her inside I was again basking in bravery, obviously proven by my knees buckling, giving out and being awoken in a pool of blood, unable to hear out of one ear, unable to close my mouth and convinced that I was crunching on at least six broken teeth. The first thing I said to my sister was “Look at me, the epitome of bravery.” (Again, it was “I’M SCARED” – my vast variety of vocabulary is prolific).

I’m not sure how many times I continued to say those two words for the rest of the day. Driving to the ER, waiting to see the doctor, having my ear cleaned out while the doctor was saying “Well, we can’t really figure out WHY your ear seems to be bleeding”, during the X-rays, the CT scan, the fixing of my chin, the news that I had a broken jaw, the referral to an oral surgeon, the X-rays in the surgeons office where I had to place my all too tender chin into the chin strap of the giant machine, hearing that my injury would require medical intervention instead of the hopeful “give it time to heal on its own” resolution that I was so prayerful for. Every chance I got to insert those pesky words, I did. Classic me behavior.

Two days later while waiting to go in for the procedure to wire arch bars to the top and bottom of my teeth which would be secured shut by elastics and then wires to ensure my mouth is in one stationary position, I was pretty terrified of all to come and all the modifications I would be submitting to for an unknown period of time, especially to this scared little girl (I’m still a little girl) who thrives on a constant active schedule to keep her brain from having TOO much time to grasp onto fear.

People have seen me since the procedure, and told me “you’re so brave”.

Um really I wasn’t. I was a fretting fool with no real other options except to listen to the medical professionals and wade into the unknown. And now, I am quiet.

Maybe you’ve gone through a period of time that you’ve been silent too. Maybe you lost your voice for a few days, maybe you experienced a grieving loss that left you searching for your voice for a while, maybe you even had a corrective surgery or breathing tube or any other type of procedure that physically left you unable to communicate through your voice. It’s not totally uncommon to experience something like this in the average persons life. If so, you know where I’m coming from. Suddenly you’re a listener. You can communicate through other methods, but they are either time consuming or painful or just not worth it. I’ve begun to wonder, what is worth it? How often has God called me to be a content listener but I’ve been blabbing too much to even hear Him?

Because I’ve got 29 years of circumstantial evidence that God does indeed have a sense of humor- my quiet times, verse of the day, and passages I’ve read throughout my bible have all circled around silence, quieting, or even tongues. Maybe He’s trying to tell me something, right? Each one has served as a small reminder that this accident did not come as any surprise to the God of the universe. Each one has pointed my trust to my creator instead of myself- and slowly, bravery creeps in. That’s what faith does, right? Equips us to make our way through this weary world, with purpose and hope for a future.

So even though my human nature is so flawed and so fearful-  I know that when I made the decision to accept Christ He changed my name, to Kelly who belongs to Me. And that makes me brave.

Curious?

• Read the following verses:
  • Luke 7:39
  • Luke 15:2
  • Matt. 9:11
  • Matt. 16:1
  • Matt. 16:11
  • Matt. 22:23
  • Acts 23:6
  • Matt. 5:20
  • Matt. 12:38
  • Matt. 15:1
  • Mark 2:16
  • Luke 5:21
    • Write out everything you learn about the Pharisees, Sadducees and Scribes.
    • Are there any of these thoughts/traits you see in your own life?  If so, what?  What does Jesus say about this specific thought/trait?

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• Is the forerunner in Malachi 3:1 the same as the forerunner in Malachi 4:5?  Research and support your answer with scriptures.

More Curious?

• Read Daniel 11.
  • What prophesies do see fulfilled during the 400 years of silence?

 

by Sally Johnson

Way back, many years ago, when I was a preteen, I became interested in reading advice columns. It all started when I would spend a week or so with my grandparents in the summers. My granddaddy had subscribed to THE FARM JOURNAL magazine for many years and there was a huge stack of them on his sun porch.  I loved to thumb through them and read the advice column “Up in Polly’s Room” written for teens. I learned a lot that probably shaped my years as a teenager like: At what age should you start dating? Should you kiss on a first date? Is it okay to call a boy? What is the right time for a curfew? etc. These were topics of interest to me as I prepared to launch into my teens!

Then, of course, as I grew older, I moved on to reading Dear Abby and Ann Landers in the local newspapers… often turning to those columns before reading anything else. The now defunct LADIES’ HOME JOURNAL also had a long-running column that interested me in my early marriage years called “Can This Marriage Be Saved?”, which featured real-life couples having marital problems. The column was split into three parts: a wife’s perspective, her husband’s take and then, a final judgment by a counselor.

After reading these advice columns, I often wondered if the advice given was actually taken and if it made a difference in the lives of those needing help.

Where do you go for advice? Would you write to an advice “expert” to help you solve  your problems? Probably not! We know that we can find the answer to all of life’s problems in God’s Word. In major contrast to all of the “worldly” advice columns I read in the past, the Bible is filled with sound advice. For example, the book of Proverbs, written mostly by Solomon, is filled with wisdom. Even though it was written thousands of years ago, its principles certainly apply to us today.

Many of you have probably heard me share about reading Proverbs 5 and 7 to our boys while traveling many hours in the car to Steve’s folks in west Texas. These chapters, and many others, were directed to young men, and I read from a version of the Bible that was popular in the early 70’s called GOOD NEWS FOR MODERN MAN. It was written in paragraph and narrative form and the message was powerful! My captive audience’s  response was, “Oh, Mom! The Bible doesn’t say that!” Well, yes! Yes it does!

We can also obtain Godly advice from our Christian friends and relatives. It is a good way to benefit from their wisdom that comes from life experiences and their relationship with God. This week’s study of Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, is a very good example of giving and heeding advice. Jethro saw a problem that Moses was having and offered sound advice in solving it, thus making Moses’ life so much easier.

Giving advice to others is a huge responsibility. It can’t be a casual thing since we’re dealing with the lives of others. We should take great care, because one small mistake could have dangerous consequences. Jesus gives us a warning in Mark 9:42 when He says: “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.” That is a pretty strong warning to all of us who give advice to others.

When people come to us for counsel or advice, they are actually trying to find the best way to deal with a particular matter. We need to give Godly counsel, the kind that would lead them closer to God while helping them handle their problem.

I recall a time when I had been hearing and observing the brokenness of a marriage for years. In a moment of weakness, I threw up my hands and said, “It’s done! Just end it!”  (Not one of my better moments!) A much wiser person than me responded with, “That’s like saying that God’s not big enough to handle it!” This made me go to my knees, praying more fervently for this couple! Yes, our God is big enough to change things! And He did, and I give Him all the glory!

What should we do before we give advice? We’ve talked about these many times before, but here they are again.

• • Pray – God already knows the person and the situation, and we need to ask Him to guide our words. In Daniel 2, the king had sought advice from his “wise men” , but they couldn’t help him, so he called in Daniel. Before seeing the king, Daniel asked his three friends to pray to God for answers. God provided Daniel with the answer to the king’s concerns.
  • Listen – James 1:19 tells us to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”. Resist the urge to speak before you hear and understand the whole story. And always be mindful that there are always two sides to every story. Proverbs 18:17 says, “The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.” Be certain that you have all the facts before you give any advice.

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• Search the Scriptures – Let the Bible be your only source for advice. God’s Word is our book for life and has instructions for every single problem we may have. It is the mouth and heart of God, the One who loves us and knows us and wants what is best for us. Read the Word of God daily so you can arm yourself with His knowledge. Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

 

If I were to give you additional advice on giving advice, I would also suggest things that you shouldn’t do.

• Don’t be judgmental or show a condemning spirit.
• Don’t talk too much but listen intently.
• Don’t take it personally if your Godly advice is not taken.
• Don’t ever share personal information with others.

Needless to say, my days of reading advice columns ended many years ago. As I matured in my Christian walk, I came to realize that worldly advice was all around me. Some of it might have been helpful, but it is incomplete and not nearly as helpful as the Truth revealed in God’s Word, the Holy Bible. God revealed to me that all advice should be given to draw others to a closer relationship with Him.  None of the advice columns that I had faithfully followed did that! Good advice must be based on Scripture.

Where do you go for advice? Just remember that not all advice is good advice. Good advice will stand on Scripture, and not apart from it!

(On a side note: Steve and I had only been married for one year when he took me to West Virginia to meet all of his relatives. While in the home of his Aunt Polly, I saw a plaque hanging on her wall. Imagine my surprise when I learned that she was the original author of the column in THE FARM JOURNAL’S “Up in Polly’s Room”!)

Curious?

• Read Deut. 1: 1- 1-18 (specifically focusing from verse 9 on)
  •  How do these verse compare to Exodus 18: 17-27?
• Do a word study on convert:
  • Hebrew – shub
  • Greek – epistrepho
    • Find verses where these words are used in scripture.
• In your own words, what is a conversion?
• Read Luke 19: 1 – 10.
  • Are there similarities between this story and Exodus 18?  If so, what? Do these both fit with what you’ve learned about conversion?

Really Curious???

• Read Psalm 78: 1 – 8
  • List out each pronoun and its antecedent.
  • What is said about each of these you have listed?
  • What directions are given to us in these verses?
  • Who benefits from our obedience in these verses?
  • Note:  Listen in verse one is NOT shema.

by Kasi Gonzales

“’Oh it’s a boy… but I feel your best bet at this point is to terminate this pregnancy.'”

Not quite the words you’re expecting to hear at your 20 week ultrasound for your highly anticipated and so far healthy first pregnancy.

Though he didn’t look me in the eye, his own eyes gazed over my head as though there was something much more interesting dancing behind me. The words came out of the OBGYN’s mouth so naturally, as though he had said them a thousand times. No feeling, no emotion. Just cold.

Immediately, my Marine Corps husband of two years, came across the table, looked the doctor square in the eye with a look I never want to see again and simultaneously we both replied, “That’s NOT an option.”

From the ultrasound, we discovered that I only had less than a centimeter of amniotic fluid protecting my baby. The rest of that appointment and the next few months were a blur. I remember learning that with the amount of fluid that was lacking around my baby, his lung and kidney formation would be seemingly impossible. I remember the doctor telling me that “if” the baby was born, he would never be able to breathe on his own and we would only have minutes with him alive.

My husband, took that information and never faltered in his belief that we would have a perfectly healthy son that he would play baseball with and watch and reenact WWE moves with. I, on the other hand, took what the doctors had said at face value. I figured if we had minutes to be parents we would be the best parents we could, and love him fiercely for as long as we could.

We were sent home with ultrasound pics and not really much else. I was told to take it easy and come back if I experienced any more issues. Our friends greeted us when we got back to our apartment with BOY onesies and cute little socks. I took them and loved them not knowing if we would ever get to see them on our son.

A month later, I stood up from the couch and my water broke. Not just a little, but full on water breaking- movie style. My first thought was “surely there must have been more fluid than they thought!”

We rushed to the ER where I was admitted for monitoring. They wanted to induce labor, but we refused. I was only 24 weeks, and we knew viability at that gestation is pretty grim. They agreed to let me stay in the hospital and be monitored as long as I showed no signs of infection. We were in a teaching hospital. So, for the next few weeks EVERYDAY new doctors would come in and have to hear our issues all over again. EVERYDAY the NICU doctors would come in and tell me the percentage rate of survival of a “normal” pregnancy at whatever gestation we were at. “25 weeks 2 days today… oh his viability has gone up to 12%!” We knew those numbers were for a normal pregnancy and mine was anything but. I took the advice from a nurse and planned a funeral for a baby I’d never met. For some crazy reason that helped me cope.

May 27, 2008 at 6:10am (after almost 6 weeks in the hospital) my stress test monitor began making noise. I rolled over and simply shook it a little since this was a common occurrence. The little stinker kept rolling over the umbilical cord- I honestly thought nothing of it. In comes nurse number one. She’s moving the monitor tying to find the baby’s heartbeat. Nothing. Nurse two comes in. She hit a button on the wall and within seconds the room was flooded with nurses poking, prodding and moving me.  Then in walks Dr. Marriot. God’s funny like that. That was the only doctor I had seen previously and actually remembered her name. She looked about 19 years old, but boy did she know her stuff. I really liked when she had rounds. She looked at me and said “We’re going.” I objected telling them it was too early and that the baby needed to stay in just a few more weeks. Dr. Marriott wasn’t having it.

I was out of my room, completely intubated, knocked out, and my son Jaxon was out in less than 90 seconds.

I woke up a few hours later with no knowledge of what had happened. I wasn’t sure if they had taken him or if I was having an intense nightmare. The first day/night of Jaxon’s life were rough to say the least. He was born blue, and not breathing on his own. While I was still snoozing they hooked him up to more machines than I ever knew existed. Once I was able to comprehend what was happening the doctors suggested the nurse roll my bed into the NICU so I could see my son. He was a perfect little being. He was 3lbs 6oz of perfection. We weren’t able to touch him, but only look.

I had prepared myself for the moment I would first see him. I always knew he would be born and we would have to make decisions about his care. In that moment I distanced myself from him. I didn’t want to get attached when the doctors had been telling me for months that he wouldn’t make it. The day and night of his birth they came and got me out of my room four different times. Each time they told me it was the end and I needed to say good bye and be by his side when he died. I had different prayers each time I went in.

The first time went something like, “God, I know that you have plans for good for me. Why are you making ME suffer. Fix him.”

The second, “God, I’ve done everything the doctors have told me. This isn’t fair. You’re making me suffer when you could just fix the problem.”

The third, “God, I’m done putting my faith in you. You’re obviously not listening. These doctors are going to fix Jaxon and you’ll see.”

The fourth (on my knees, face down in the middle of the NICU), “God… the doctors have given up, only you can help my son. He’s suffering and we’re suffering. If you’re going to take him, please take him. If you’re going to fix him, do it. YOUR will be done. Not mine.” I told my son goodbye and went back to my room knowing that he wasn’t going to make it.

About a half hour later, the nurse came in and said his numbers had improved. He might make it through the night.

The next morning, he looked better and there were hopes that we might be able to make it through the week with him.

Less than a week later Jaxon was completely off all breathing machines and had only a feeding tube. He spent exactly 4 weeks in the NICU before he came home. On our way out of the hospital we stopped by the office of the doctor, who at 20 weeks, told us abortion was our ONLY option.

He looked at our, perfectly healthy, teeny tiny son, and told us he was sorry- and that he had taken his wife and three daughters to church the weekend prior for the first time in over 10 years.

God taught us so much through this journey. Most importantly our faith, hope, and expectations cannot be in the things of this world. The world is broken, and the only perfect thing in this world is the Holy Spirit gifted to us.

 

Curious?

• Contrast Genesis 42: 29-36 and Romans 8:28.
  • Which one of these phrases do you find yourself claiming? Why?

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• List everything Romans 8 says about those in Christ.
  • Which ones do you have trouble accepting in your life? Find additional verses in scripture and pray to help with claiming this truth.

 

Really Curious????

• Read Psalm 44 (Romans 8:36 quotes from here)
  • What is the message of Psalm 44 and what is the connection to Romans 8?

 

 

 

 

 

Recently I found myself in an all too familiar situation; a situation I thought had been left behind decades ago on a dusty playground in the back of an elementary school.

Maybe you have experienced a similar scenario. I’m pretty sure you know the one.  It is recess, or maybe P.E. class, and time to choose teams.  Inevitably team captains are chosen by peers or teachers and told to pick their teams from amongst the dozens of students waiting expectantly on the sidelines.

Usually it played out the same way.  There were those everyone knew would get chosen right away either from popularity or athletic prowess.  These children rarely worried about being chosen last.

Then there were those silently praying, “Please don’t let me be picked last.”  Sweaty palms, quickened heart, and silent pleading – the trademarks of the ones everyone was counter praying would not make it on their team. And when they did, sighs and disgusted looks were guaranteed.

Of course the absolute worst was when there were an odd number of students and you weren’t chosen at all – the teacher had to place you on a team.

Do one of these sound familiar?

There is something in most of us that desires inclusion and acceptance.

If so, you’ll understand my recent apprehension upon entering an environment I had not been a part of for a long while and questioned if anyone would pick me to join in their circle of friends.  This particular group of women enjoyed a long-standing friendship with a lot of history, private jokes, and memories.  I was the outsider invading their familiar territory.

But as I was questioning my inclusion to this new group, the Lord reminded me of a few things He taught me some time ago.

There are people who just have a knack for blending in to any situation with all types of people.  Typically that is not me. For years I constantly tried conforming to fit in and have acceptance with people.  From the way I dressed and talked to the activities I participated in, I would adapt and change – each time losing a little bit of me, because I was attempting to gain someone else.

Then God took me through a season – a very long season – where the only conforming being done was for Him.  It was a period of time with no friendships or activities outside of immediate family.

It began as a lonely season, with lots of excess time on my hands- but somewhere along the way evolved to a life changing understanding that I didn’t need to stand on the sidelines silently shouting, “Pick me! Oh, please somebody, pick me.”

What was the great, life changing discovery?

I was already picked.

Yes. Me.

I am picked.

Chosen by the great I AM.

John 15:16 says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit – fruit that will last – and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”

Jesus chose me.  More than that, He created me so that I could be chosen!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.   Psalms 139:13-16

Guess what?

He chooses you too.

And though it feels good when we are included or asked to join in activities (which I was included recently for those curious to know), Jesus is always choosing you.

All you have to do is say YES.

 

Curious?

 

• Read Galatians 4: 1-7; Mark 14:36; Romans 8: 15
  • In your own words, write out the reasons God is our Abba.

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• In Matthew 5: 10 – 12, Jesus lists ways we suffer.
  • What does He list, and how does this relate to Romans 8: 17 – 18?
• Read Luke 19: 11 – 27.
  • What instructions are given?
  • What are the three outcomes?
  • Which one do you identify with the most? Why?

Really curious?

• Read and study 2 Peter 1: 3-11.
  • How does this passage support what is written in Romans 8?
  • What is the progression of adding to faith given through Peter in these verses?