I’m done.

Life changing words when uttered within a marriage.

It seems everywhere I turn marriages are falling apart – destroying families and leaving piles of rubble to be sifted through and sorted.

Mine.

Yours.

No one is immune.  No one is exempt.

From the head of prominent Christian ministries to the stranger on the street, the foundation of marriage is under attack.

I recently read an article by a sweet husband vowing numerous actions he was implementing to protect his marriage.  Beautiful vows.  Worthwhile vows.

But I’m pretty sure most of us, if married, made some pretty significant vows on our wedding day.  Probably something along the lines of:

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.”

These vows seem pretty all inclusive don’t they?

Yet do we ever truly take these words to heart and ponder their application to our lives and marriages?  Especially that God’s holy ordinance part.

I often joke with my husband we should renew our vows.  Celebrating our 25^th anniversary brought the topic up again.  He responded the way he always responds – “I meant them the first time.”

Has he kept them perfectly?  Absolutely not.

Nor have I.

As a matter of fact, we have caused one another long seasons of pain and grief – heartache and turmoil.

Isn’t that the way with two imperfect humans attempting to live together?

Two minds.

Two personalities.

Two sets of desires.

 

And the desires (not just of a sexual nature) are where we get ourselves into a lot of trouble within our marriages.  James 1: 14-15 explains the danger of desires and their consequences:

“But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. ¹⁵ Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death.”

How many of us are willing to completely make ourselves transparent to our spouses and confess our secret desires to them? The desires that we fear will cause them to love us less. Or the ones that cause us embarrassment and shame.

Yet, this transparency opens the door to freedom – because the desires shackling you in bondage are broken when you take the power away.

God gave us a companion to do life with – to be our helpmate.  We have to allow them to help us in all areas of our life.

So quit making new vows to be a better spouse.  Work on keeping the ones you already made.

And the best way to work on those vows starts on our knees – covering our spouses, ourselves and our marriages in prayer.

 

 

Consider

 

• In James 1: 12, the crown of life is mentioned. There are five crowns referenced in the New Testament. Look up the following verses and describe each crown and how it is received:
  • 1 Co. 9: 24-25
  • 2 Timothy 4:8
  • 1 Thess. 2:19
  • 1 Peter 5:4
  • Rev. 2:10

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• Read Deut. 6: 10-15
  • What is the command Moses gives the people?
  • Why is this command necessary?
  • What good gifts has God given you?
    • Have any of these gifts harmed your relationship with God?
      • If so, how?
      • If not, how do you protect yourself from it?

 

Feeling ambitious?

 

• Read Joshua 7
  • Describe in your own words the process Achlan goes through.
    • Do you relate to this process in your own life? Explain.
  • List the consequences for the rest of the community because of one person’s actions.
  • Spend some time in prayer asking God to reveal how your actions affect those around you.

It struck me the other day how trusting children are.  I was taking my daughters to the dentist, and we were running extremely early.  When I passed a new store that recently opened in the area, I decided to surprise them with a quick trip for art supplies.  I exited the freeway and u-turned, retracing the path back to the store.

Not once did my children ask where we were going.

Not once did they take a breath from their conversation either.

They blindly trusted that wherever I was taking them was okay.

Oh how I wish we possessed this kind of trust with God.

When our decisions and choices lead us off the straight path, He lovingly u-turns us back in the right direction –  most of the time kicking and screaming.

But if we would just trust His guidance – knowing He already went before us on the road – we could sit back and enjoy the ride.

 

In depth

• Read Luke 1: 46-53; 6: 20-26; and 12: 13-21
  • List everything scriptures says about rich/poor
    • How can you apply this list to the wealth in your life?
      • (Remember wealth is not necessarily money/possessions.)

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• Read 2 Corinthians 12: 1-10
  • To whom is Paul writing and why?
  • Who is the man in Christ?
    • See Acts 14: 19-20
  • Explain the vision in your own words.

 

Feeling ambitious?

Read the following scriptures making note of what is said concerning giving.

• Ex. 23:11
• Deut. 14: 28-29
• Lev. 25:1 -7
• Amos4: 1-3
• Amos 5: 11-12
• Amos 8: 4-6
• Hab. 2: 9-13

Spend time asking God where He wants you to give out of the wealth He has provided.

(Note: wealth can be time, talent, wisdom/knowledge, money, possessions, skill, physical strength, etc.)

Purging

We all have that moment when we need to simplify our lives.  Maybe it is through a spring cleaning or needing to make room for the new.

Most of the time we feel a sense of accomplishement with the discarding of junk.

This was not the case for me walking upstairs to discover my oldest daughter – surrounded by numerous bags – purging her room of all the childhood items she’s outgrown.

Panicing – my mind raced to list every reason why she could not do this.  I watched in horror as she calmly, if not excitedly, put one stuffed animal after another into a bag.  Each animal brought back a special memory of days past.  Tea parties, vacations and doctors visits where we had to cling to her favorite (at the time) all being tossed aside.

With each item placed in the bag, my heart broke a little more.  I questioned each choice.  “Are you sure about that one?”

There was so much pride in her voice when she emphatically replied, “Yes!”

So I sat and watched – she didn’t need my help with this process.

But inside I was mourning for my baby girl.  The one who couldn’t sleep at night without her lovie now peering at my through a stretched trash bag.

And I asked God why this whole parenting thing has to be so hard.  Why we have to experience these moments of transitions and letting go.

And He reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:11

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”

We must let go of our childish ways.

God desires it.

He expects it.

While I sat devastated watching the innocence of childhood slowly being tossed away, He was rejoicing in the maturity of a daughter growing into her role in His kingdom- HIS daughter.

And He whispered gently to me, “What about you?  What childish things do you need to throw out to serve me better?”

 

 

In Depth

• Read Romans 8:9
  • How does this verse empower you to resist the devil?

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• Read 1 Kings 13: 11-34
  • Write out who, what, when, where, why and how for these verses.
  • What do you learn from these verses to apply to your own life?

 

Feeling ambitious?

• Compare Matthew 8:28 – 34; Mark 5:1 – 20, and Luke 8:26 – 39

• Keep a list of added details each writer was inspired to record. Which account speaks most to you? Why?

Good Friday.

Good for us – pain and suffering for Him.

Beaten, shamed, spit upon, mocked

He endured it all

For you

For me

For us

This Good Friday and Easter season we hope you remove any stumbling blocks hindering a relationship with the One who provides freedom.

Submit to a life of obedience.

No more excuses.

No more rationalizing behaviors

No more stubbornness

For we know what is coming

Sunday morning

A Resurrection

And if you have accepted Christ..

The SAME Spirit that raised Him from the dead dwells in you

So boldly declare Romans 6:6

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”

Honor His sacrifice with your life.
 

 

In Depth

• Read Luke 17:1
• Matthew 13:41
• Matthew 16:23
• Matthew 18:7
  • Spend some time with each of these verses.
    • What is said about stumbling?
    • What is the context in which it is said?
    • Who says it?

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  • How do these verses apply to your life?
• Read Romans 11:7-11 and Psalm 69: 22-23
  • What insight do you gain on stumbling blocks from these passages?

Feeling ambitious?

Spend time with the Lord asking for Him to reveal stumbling blocks in your path.  Ask Him to open your eyes to see and ears to hear what He is telling you. Be ready to step out in faith and obedience at what He makes known to you.

In college, I worked for my aunt in her upholstery shop.  Cutting and measuring fabric, payroll, and sewing were a few of my responsibilities.  On rare occasion, I covered myself in trash bags to enter the sweltering outdoor workshop to stuff pillow forms with down.  More feathers landed in my nostrils than the pillows, especially with the industrial fan circulating the warm, humid air. At least everyone had a good laugh – at my expense – whenever I performed this task.

But my favorite responsibility occurred on Fridays.  This was the day my aunt and I spent the day going to homes and businesses measuring furniture and making deliveries. This was a time before cell phones, Siri, and GPS.  Our go to guide was a Key Map.  This little orange book held all the directions needed for navigating Houston.  Of course, a special skill is imperative for navigating this book.

And that’s where we got into trouble.

My aunt would drive while I navigated in the passenger seat.  The key map open in my lap did little to get us where we were going.  I turned that book left, right, upside down, but with little success.  We went right when we should have turned left, and left when we should have turned right.  We would get so turned around we would stop to ask directions at the nearest gas station.

We were often late for appointments.  Clients would nod and laugh about our Key Map misadventures, yet we knew their time was valuable and tardiness was not ok.

There have been times in my life when reading my Bible felt like reading the key map and numerous wrong turns have been taken. God tells us in Proverbs 3:6 if we acknowledge him in all our ways, he will make our path straight.  There may be mountains to climb and valleys to cross, but if we stay single minded in our walk toward Jesus, our path is straight.

Follow His directions.

They are always right.

 

In Depth

 

• Read the following and list what is said about paths.
  • Proverbs 4: 26-27
  • Hebrews 12:13
  • Psalm 5:8
  • Jeremiah 31:9
  • Acts 13:10
  • How can you apply this list to your life right now?

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Write out Proverbs 10:17

Spend some time in prayer asking God to reveal anywhere you have gone astray.  What actions do you need to take in order to get on the straight path?

---

A sweet friend of mine owns a little clothing shop.  Every couple of months, I stop in to see what new goodies she has discovered at market.  Most visits she has set aside several pieces purchased with me in mind.  These are items she feels fit my personality and body type.

She takes care to display each piece of clothing for me, making sure to add her expert advice on what to add from my own closet to complete the look.  I can see her vision clearly.  And I end up purchasing what she has for me.

Now I do not try on anything.  Trying on clothes is a process that sends me into stressful sweats (no, I do not glisten). But if I were to suffer through the process, I would leave her shop with a lot less merchandise.

Her perception of me and my body is not the same as the reality of me and my body.  The clothing is too small – too big – too short – too… not me.

And there are no returns. I vow next time to try on the clothes or at least tell her no.

But I don’t.

And I come home next time with a handful of items that will take up space in my life until I purge.

So I continue to remind myself of James 1:23-24:

“For anyone who hears the word and does not carry it out is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after observing himself goes away immediately and forgets what he looks like.”

Because I have heard, and I do forget –  especially when someone is standing before me with encouraging words and pretty visuals.

But I’m working on it.  Baby steps.

 

In depth:

 

Hesed – faithfulness, mercy, loving kindness, unfailing, steadfast love

• Read 2 Samuel 9: 1-13
  • How is this passage an example of hesed?

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• Read Ruth 1: 8-20
  • What is the example of hesed in this passage?

 

• List specific actions you can apply to your life from the examples of David and Ruth to show hesed.

 

• Write out Micah 6:8 inserting your name.
  • For example, “He has told Stephanie what is good….”
    • Find a verse to support each of the commands – act justly, love faithfulness, walk humbly.

 

Feeling ambitious?

• Read http://newlifeexchange.com/khalid-mansoor-soomros-testimony/

Though this is an extreme look at division in the family, it is an example of a life sold out to Jesus.  Are you willing to make a stand like this?  Why?

What do you see?

A regal, young woman?

A seasoned, older woman?

Our perspective shapes the way we view circumstances, people, and choices.  Too often our perspective is molded by the world instead of the Word.

Currently there is a heated debate taking place around an upcoming movie.  Everyone is sharing their perspective on this movie’s message and content.

But the only perspective that truly matters is what Jesus says about the movie.

And honestly, this is the only filter needed in any situation, decision, or choice ever made.

The Bible clearly provides all the answers needed for every situation encountered.  We just don’t like all the answers.

And though we tend to have the knowledge of the right answer, we cannot give the why.  And if we can’t give the why, then we begin to doubt if we have the right knowledge.

Satan has caused us to question from the beginning.  His first words – “Did God really say…” (Gen. 3:1) still plague us today.  Yet the world has no problem giving us every kind of justification as to why we should think and behave a certain way.

Stop listening!

It’s time to seek God’s perspective.

Ask Him for it.

James 1:5 – He will give it.

In depth

• Read the following verses. Write out everything revealed to you about Caleb.
  • Numbers 13: 30-33
  • Numbers 14: 6, 8, 10, 30
  • Joshua 14: 6-15

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• What was Caleb’s perspective on his situation? Where do you need a Caleb perspective?
• Choose an issue you have biblical knowledge about but unsure of the why. After praying for wisdom on this topic, find verses to study and research.

 

Feeling ambitious?

• Read the following scriptures
  • 2 Samuel 7
  • 1 Chron. 17: 11-14
  • 2 Chron. 6:16
• What is the covenant? Write it out.
• Now read
  • John 1:18 and Isa. 55: 3-4
• How do these two verses relate to one another and to the covenant above?
• What perspective do you gain from these verses?